The Paradoxical Relationship Between Love & Desire

“Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery.

Love likes to shrink the distance that exists between me and you, while desire is energized by it.

If intimacy grows through repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. It thrives on the mysterious, the novel, and the unexpected.

Love is about having; desire is about wanting.

An expression of longing, desire requires ongoing elusiveness. It is less concerned with where it has already been than passionate about where it can still go. But too often, as couples settle into the comforts of love, they cease to fan the flame of desire.

They forget that fire needs air.”

– Esther Perel, Author of Mating in Captivity


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