14 Fantastic Insights From Christine Hassler’s Book – Expectations Hangover

14 Fantastic Insights From Christine Hassler Book - Expectations Hangover

She moved to Los Angeles with the dream of working in the entertainment industry. 

She was smart, ambitious, hard working and by 25, she had an office with a view, an assistant who answered her phone, an expense account, a real salary, power lunches, television industry screenings, clients etc. She dated and attended industry events.

From the outside, it looked like she "had it all." There was just one problem: she was absolutely miserable.

This is Christine Hassler's story before quit her prestigious career and turned her life around to become a spiritual life coach, keynote speaker and best-selling author.

In her book, Expectations Hangover, Christine Hassler shares what to do when life throws a curveball or does not live up to our expectations. 

Today, I want to share the top 14 inspiring lessons and insights from her book.

I hope you will find these lessons inspiring and insightful.

#1. Keeping your feelings inside is like attempting to hold an inflated beach ball under water

Christine Hassler

"Emotions need a way to get out.

If you do not express them, they will find another exit! The long-term drain on your energy from suppressing and avoiding your emotions is far greater than the short-term pain of acknowledging, feeling, and dealing with them.

Keeping your feelings inside is like attempting to hold an inflated beach ball under water.

You can wrestle with it for a while; but sooner or later you lose your grasp on it, and it pops up, creating a huge splash and knocking you right in the face.

- Christine Hassler

#2. Our story becomes the lens through which we start to see everything in our life, and we tend to attract circumstances that fit with our story

Christine Hassler

"The vast majority of what and how we think is based on a story we have about ourselves, others, and how life works.

We began to construct this story at a young age, based on things we saw, heard, or experienced.

We then formed judgments about what happened.

Those judgments created clusters of thoughts. The thoughts then created a belief system containing expectations about ourselves, others, and life in general. 

Our story becomes the lens through which we start to see everything in our life, and we tend to attract circumstances that fit with our story — even if we don’t consciously want them — because we expect them.

- Christine Hassler

#3. Believe you are enough, worthy, lovable and deserving

Christine Hassler

"The most powerful attractor is our belief system.

You can create beautiful poster boards full of images of what you want and affirm every day that you are available for an incredibly successful, passionate career or a loving relationship; but if you don’t truly believe you are enough, worthy, lovable, and deserving, then attracting a great career or relationship into your life may be more challenging.

Consider what limiting beliefs you have that contradict your desires and upgrade them to beliefs that are in alignment with what you want to attract. 

- Christine Hassler

#4. Healing occurs when you are being fully authentic and vulnerable

Christine Hassler

"Anything we keep inside because we judge it as dark is transformed the moment we bring it into the light.

In moments of vulnerability, where we are being fully authentic by sharing our innermost experience, healing can occur.

- Christine Hassler

#5. Want to overcome shame? Be vulnerable and reveal what you are terrified of being 'found out' for

Christine Hassler

"Shame often stands as the guard at the gate to vulnerability.

The incredibly painful feeling of shame is based on a misunderstanding of a perceived flaw that we believe must stay hidden. The way to get through shame is by stepping into vulnerability and revealing what we are terrified of being “found out” for.

We all want to know that we are loved “even if ” we have these dark, scary, shameful feelings and thoughts. 

- Christine Hassler

#6. If you want to change the direction your thoughts you have to create new neural pathways in your brain

Christine Hassler

"Visualize a house in the middle of a really overgrown field.

See yourself in a truck that is a football field’s distance from the house. Your job is to drive the truck to the house. On your first trip it’s a bumpy ride, as you have to get through all the weeds, bushes, and rocks. You are holding on to the steering wheel tightly and are highly focused on your destination.

Now imagine you take the same route day after day. Over time the wheels create a path in the field, and eventually, the truck will naturally gravitate toward the path you’ve carved by driving the same route over and over. It would not require much steering or effort at all.

But say you wanted to create a different path to the house. 

The first time you steered the truck off the grooves of the path you already made, it would once again be a bumpy ride. You’d have to steer with focus to get the truck off the easier, well-worn path. But if you took the new route day after day, a new path would form that would eventually feel as natural as the first path you carved.

Your brain is like the field, and your thoughts are like the truck.

If you want to change the direction your thoughts naturally gravitate toward, you are going to have to consciously steer them off their natural course and create new neural pathways in your brain. 

As you mentally rehearse new beliefs, you install more neurological hardware and put new circuits in place — think of it as a better hardware system for your mind! 

- Christine Hassler

#7. When you are overwhelmed, simply ask yourself 'What's the one step I can take that's aligned with my long term vision'

Christine Hassler

"We feel overwhelmed when we have a big or distant vision of something without knowing the steps to take to get there.

Instead of moving into our proactive Scientist mode, we become paralyzed by having too much to do, and we feel incompetent or incapable of doing it. It’s great to have a long term vision, but if you are looking too far ahead, it is natural to feel overwhelmed because your brain is trying to process all the steps you have to take to get there. 

Imagine standing at the bottom of the staircase, staring up at the second floor and contemplating how you are going to get there.

Rather than taking a running leap to see how many steps you can skip, and possibly twisting your ankle, you need to go step-by-step. 

The second you shift your focus from the destination (the second floor) to the first step in front of you, the feeling of being overwhelmed will disappear.

Ask yourself, “What is one step I can take that is aligned with my long-term vision?” 

- Christine Hassler

#8. Struggling with procrastination? Shift your vision beyond the task at hand to why you are ultimately doing the task

Christine Hassler

"When you find yourself up against the roadblock of procrastination, it is because your focus is too short term.

By only looking at the steps that are necessary to take, you have lost touch with your why. Most of our heartfelt desires require some degree of effort that is not particularity fun, so we procrastinate. 

Not all value-aligned action steps are necessarily enjoyable; however, the underlying reason for taking them is what makes them aligned with our values. 

Shift your vision beyond the task at hand to why you are ultimately doing the task. Attuning to your why moves you from the seemingly mundane to the ultimately rewarding.

Every big idea began with one small step, and every big shot started out as a little shot.

- Christine Hassler

#9. Judgment keeps us in a victim mindset

Christine Hassler

"Judgment keeps us in either a controlling or a victim consciousness because we see the world as happening either by us or to us rather than for us.

- Christine Hassler

#10. Don't look for something on the outside to ease the uneasiness inside

Christine Hassler

"Most of us live a bit backward.

The outer circumstances of life become the conductor of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. And once we’ve boarded this out-in train, we enter a cycle of looking for something on the outside to ease the uneasiness inside. 

What we are truly searching for is a sense of inner contentment, no matter what is or isn’t happening in our outside world.

Contentment is actually our natural state because from a soul-line perspective, nothing is missing.

- Christine Hassler

#11. Forgiveness is about setting yourself free

Christine Hassler

"We just forget this because we get so fixated on the goal line, where there is an infinite supply of distractions that we think will lead to fulfillment.

We resist forgiving because we believe we were wronged and think we need to hold on to our judgments of a person or situation to feel justified. 

What is key to understand about forgiveness is that it is not about letting someone else off the hook — it is about setting you free. 

Forgiveness does not mean we are agreeing with or condoning what happened. 

Forgiveness does mean we are letting go of the judgments we’ve been harboring inside. Also, when it comes to forgiving someone else, it is not something that has to be done face-to-face with anyone, nor does the other person have to forgive us to be forgiven. 

Forgiveness is something we do inside ourselves.

- Christine Hassler

#12. Be like a scientist

Christine Hassler

"Taking on the role of Scientist moves us into becoming the neutral observer and researcher of our own behavior rather than the critic or the unconscious robot.

Putting ourselves under a nonjudgmental microscope of awareness, we become conscious of our unconscious, habitual programming. That is how we see the part of the iceberg that has been below the surface, take steps to dissolve it, and get out of our own way.

The Scientist is proactive rather than reactive, seeking to find the truth (rather than blame or justification) in every situation. The Scientist is not attached to any specific outcome, but is open and compelled to observe and study your Expectation Hangover. 

Changing behavior does take practice; but eventually, with the transformational combination of awareness and action, our behaviors match our conscious intentions, and the insanity stops!

- Christine Hassler

#13. Trust and take a leap of faith

Christine Hassler

"In order for any change to occur, there is a period of chaos.

Chaos isn’t bad; it means things are changing. Taking a leap is a powerful action step out of disappointment. Even if you’re apprehensive, go for it. A free fall can be a beautiful time of expectation-free surrender.

Stop questioning. Start accepting what is. Start enjoying the excitement of uncertainty. Start trusting. And start today. Take a leap of faith.

- Christine Hassler

#14. Do the work and be patient

Christine Hassler

"Interesting little fact: a bamboo seed takes up to seven years to sprout, but once it does, it can grow thirteen feet in only one week. Unbelievable! Sometimes the seeds we plant do take time to sprout.

The growth work we do requires a gestation period, and things happen in due time.

We must give up our desire for instant gratification and our obsession with results, and measure progress by the differences felt inside rather than by what is different on the outside. 

It is normal to feel like big dreams are taking forever to come true, to wonder if you are doing something wrong, and to think perhaps you should settle for less.

But I assure you that no matter how long it takes, once it happens, you will wonder how you ever doubted it and be glad you never settled.

- Christine Hassler

Excerpts from the book Expectation Hangover: Free Yourself From Your Past, Change Your Present, and Get What You Really Want ©2014 by Christine Hassler. 

Reprinted with permission from New World Library. www.NewWorldLibrary.com.

Expectation Hangover Cover

Bonus: Enjoy Christine Hassler's video on her life story, what she learned during her darkest moment and sharing her precious nuggets of wisdom.

About Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler is a best-selling author, keynote speaker, master coach, podcast and TV host who is committed to guiding people and organizations into their highest potential. She left her successful job as a Hollywood agent at 25 to pursue a life she could be passionate about . . . but it did not come easily. After being inspired by her own unexpected challenges and experiences, she realized her journey was indeed her destination.

In 2005, she wrote her first book 20 Something 20 Everything and then The 20 Something Manifesto in 2008.  Her latest best-selling book Expectation Hangover: Free Yourself from Your Past, Change Your Present and Get What You Really Want  is the guidebook for how to treat disappointment on the emotional, mental, behavioral and spiritual levels.

To learn more, visit her website www.christinehassler.com.

Now it's your turn, what are your favorite insights from Expectations Hangover and why. Share them in the comments below.

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