10 Awe-Inspiring Lessons From Amber Rae’s Book – Choose Wonder Over Worry

10 Awe-Inspiring Lessons From Amber Rae Book – Choose Wonder Over Worry

Recently I read the book 'Choose Wonder Over Worry' by Amber Rae and I wanted to share the top 10 inspiring lessons and insights from her book.

I hope you will find these lessons inspiring and insightful.

#1. Learn to distinguish between Toxic worry and Useful Worry

Amber Rae

"Our Worry voice can express itself in two ways: as toxic worry or as useful worry.

Toxic worry is the relentless, looping thoughts that paralyze and prevent you from taking action or moving forward. It’s the gripping rumination on the past and anxiety about the future – a habit that Stanford neurosurgeon Dr. James Doty said we spend nearly 80 percent of our time and attention on.

Useful worry is the foresight to imagine setbacks and challenges, make a plan, and take action.

Worry is useful only when it’s within our control and empowers us to act. 

So when our Worry voice chimes in, we can ask two questions:

1. Is this a real possibility?
2. Is there any productive action I can take right now?

- Amber Rae

#2. Pay careful attention to the 'story' you are telling yourself

Amber Rae

"Beliefs and stories grip our lives in powerful ways.

Something happens, we draw meaning from it, and that interpretation impacts how we feel and what we choose to believe about ourselves and the world.

Sometimes these stories serve us. 

Other times, they hold us back. Much of the fear, anxiety and stress that we experience in everyday life is self-created based on what we’re choosing to tell ourselves.

- Amber Rae

#3. Turn toward and honor your inner ache

Amber Rae

"With an affinity toward being positive, making the most of each moment, and finding the silver lining in all situations, I discovered that I was missing out on the growth, wisdom, and light that come along with entering the dark spaces.

As I moved toward the struggle, I moved toward the light.

It was only when I learned to turn toward and honor my inner ache – and get curious about what it was trying to tell me – that I was able to access and unlock a deeper love, kindness, and joy within. It wasn’t feelings that were the problem, I discovered. I was my relationship to them.

- Amber Rae

#4. The REAL magic happens once you step outside your comfort zone

Amber Rae

"When I first began stepping into the arena outside my comfort zone, I thought:

This can’t be right. This is supposed to be where the magic happens. This is where I’m supposed to feel all the glorious feelings of fulfillment and expansion and bliss. This is where all the opportunities are supposed to come to me.

Eventually I realized that my anxiety, and the very loud and urgent Worry voice yelling “Danger,” is the very clear signal that I am leaving my comfort zone.

The point is not to escape the discomfort, silence the fear, or make the feelings go away. It’s to learn to feel them, see them, and move with them. 

And THAT is when the magic happens.

The magic happens when we embrace and acknowledge all of our emotions, rather than try to push them away. The magic happens when we feel blindfolded and lost in the dark, and we’re just curious enough to see what lies a few steps farther. And a few steps farther. And a few more.

- Amber Rae

#5. Discover Oprah's secret mantra to overcome her inner critic

Amber Rae

"A few years ago, I sat in the front row at the United Nations to hear Oprah speak. She opened up to us, sharing that when she decided to start the OWN network after more than twenty-five years of The Oprah Winfrey Show being a number one success, she never anticipated the challenges she’d run into.

When she found herself flustered, stressed, off track, and on the edge of breakdown- listening to what she calls “little person mind” (aka toxic worry) – she couldn’t hear herself clearly. 

The way she moved through the fog was to get still, and ask herself one question: “What is the right next move?”

She asked and acted on that question until she moved out from the darkness and into the light.

Now I turn to you and ask the same: What is your right next move?

- Amber Rae

#6. Here's why you should say NO to things that you DO want to do

Amber Rae

"Elizabeth Gilbert was working a few jobs, barely making ends meet, and rarely having the time and energy to write.

When she shared her predicament with a wise older woman, that woman said, “What are you willing to give up, in order to have the life you keep saying that you want?”

Liz said, “You’re right- I really need to start learning how to say no to things I don’t want to do.”

The wise woman corrected her: “No, it’s much harder than that. You need to learn how to start saying no to things you DO want to do, with the recognition that you have only one life, and you don’t have time and energy for everything.” 

- Amber Rae

#7. There are times when the only way to move through your limitations, insecurities, doubts, and fears is to do just that: To Move

Amber Rae

"There comes a point when no amount of planning, preparing, and predicting will provide you with the impetus and the know-how to take that next step.

There are times when the only way to move through your limitations, insecurities, doubts, and fears is to do just that: to move. 

Yes, you have limits. Of course you have fears. This is true of any human, and especially those who choose to pursue something new. Those uncomfortable feelings mean one thing: you care.

- Amber Rae

#8. Are you willing to get uncomfortable in the pursuit of what is mightily important to you?

Amber Rae

"This is why we must ask ourselves whenever we choose to do something that we feel is worthwhile:

Am I willing to get uncomfortable in the pursuit of what is mightily important to me? 

Because when we are, we will persevere to uncover lessons and gifts.

But only if we continue to show up, and take the next step forward and the next step forward and the next one after that. Again and again and again.

- Amber Rae

#9. You cannot avoid, escape or 'fix' uncomfortable feelings - you need to act with courage while holding yourself with compassion

Amber Rae

"When what we’re thinking, feeling, or experiencing is too uncomfortable, the only way we may know how to deal with it is to avoid it.

If it’s too painful, we may try to escape it or fix it, thinking it will go away or lessen in severity.

It can involve doing something – like working harder so you don’t have to face uncomfortable feelings, not putting yourself out there so you don’t have to face rejection, or having that extra drink to take the edge off. 

It can also involve not doing something – like avoiding a challenging conversation, creating distance between you and someone you feel in conflict with, or trying to convince yourself that what you want isn’t all that important anyway.

The problem is that when we use avoidance to cope, we only strengthen our anxiety and we usually end up experiencing more of whatever we were trying to flee from in the first place.

The path forward is to see our avoidance and anxiety as a signal to act. 

An opportunity to choose what’s true over what’s comfortable. A chance to step into courage while holding ourselves with compassion.

It’s our moment to write our bravest ending yet.

- Amber Rae

#10. Know that you are ENOUGH

Amber Rae

"Let me ask you this: How have you been defining “enough” up until now?

Does enough mean a certain weight on the scale? An amount in your bank account? A specific number of Instagram followers? Does it mean going to the best parties and having the respect of a certain kind of crowd? Having people perceive you in a certain way? Accomplishing every single item on your bucket list?

Because here’s what I learned the hard way: Those things don’t make you enough.

They sent me chasing after the next thing and the next thing and the next thing – with no end in sight. I got there, and then I thought, This isn’t what I thought this would feel like.

I expected to feel happy and whole and complete, but instead I felt empty. Lifeless. Exhausted. Turned off. Drained of my life force and livelihood. And ashamed. Ashamed because I put all that time and energy into getting there and now I felt… not much of anything.

When this feels difficult to swallow and admit, instead of questioning the definition of what’s perfect and good, I kept chasing. I kept running. I jumped back on the hamster wheel, and I kept looking to fill the void of enough through doing more, and trying to do it perfectly.

And in doing so, what’s blurred was my ability to see what is so clear to me now: That I was already enough. That you are already enough. That enough is our birthright. That enough is who we are and who we’ve always been.

- Amber Rae

Excerpts from From Choose Wonder Over Worry: Move Beyond Fear and Doubt to Unlock Your Full Potential by Amber Rae. Copyright © 2018 by the author and reprinted with permission of Wednesday Books and published with permission. 

Choose Wonder Over Worry Cover

Bonus: Enjoy Amber Rae's fantastic interview with Matt D'Avella.

About Amber Rae

Amber Rae

Called “A Millennial Motivator" by Fortune and "The Brené Brown of Wonder” by Mind Body Green, Amber Rae is an author and artist that teaches creativity and personal growth.

Her book, "Choose Wonder Over Worry: Move Beyond Fear and Doubt to Unlock Your Full Potential" is a guide to navigate life’s challenges—projects that fail, imposter syndrome, feeling envious or anxious or stuck—all of those, “Am I good enough? Who am I to do this? What if I fail?” moments. 

Her writing and speaking blends raw and relatable stories with actionable aha! moments, and has reached over 5MM people in 195 countries. She’s motivated audience at companies like Kate Spade, Lululemon, and charity: water to create beyond fear, and she’s advised leaders at companies like Adobe, IDEO, Google, Facebook, and Apple.

To learn more about Amber, visit her website www.AmberRae.com.

Now it's your turn, what are your favorite insights from 'Choose Wonder Over Worry' and why. Share them in the comments below.

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